Letter to Thyself 2020

Dear Amal,

First and foremost, alhamdulillah. thumma alhamdulillah. :)

Today, the same date is the date that you're currently studying for your 2nd last paper ;) in IIUM Bachelors Degree in Biotechnology.

You were studying for Waste Management and Usage.

You went through everything.

Alhamdulillah.

So, where are you now?

Right something about it right away.

And is blogger still out there anyway?

toddles.

Sincerely,
Amal

btw, And I seek your prayers if there's any chance that anyone is reading this at the moment. Just in case I already forgotten about this or I'm no longer here. I seek your forgiveness as well.

#timecapsule2014 , this is a scheduled post.

Pheww.

I never knew reading or coming across an inspiring story which obviously meant to inspire and of course not to 'perli' me, can be so overwhelming.

Maybe I am so weak in the inside I no longer react in a snap of time with an expected reaction of "Wow" or "Oh, I want to be like her, tak sama pun takpe, as long as strive.". Ni nak strive pun rasa macam... pheww.

Cocoon

http://makeagif.com/_1mL3J

Transition is a bit hard.

Inside, I am feeling like that description people gave on caterpillars breaking itself out to become a butterfly. I am not sure about the butterfly part. But currently feel like I can relate to that breaking oneself out of the cocoon part. the pain, "push" is getting on me. 😂

Confusions, obstacles happening right now. And blogging to ease out some of it. :P

Cari Jalan

Source : http://giphy.com/gifs/LsPTdav2Wa9W0

Kadang-kadang rasa nak duduk dalam rumah atas ni dah leave semua whatsapp group. Takda line lagi bagus.

Sebab I don't know how people manage. I can't find my own way to manage. But if we decide to tell our situation to others, seperti mencipta alasan sahaja. sedangkan situasi kita memang begitu. pengalaman orang lain mungkin mengajar mereka yang segalanya boleh adjust. tetapi macam mana kalau keadaan aku tak sama macam orang lain. sekali lagi, kalau share lagi seperti memberi alasan. kadang-kadang kita berkongsi jujur keadaan semasa kita supaya planning dapat disesuaikan mengikut keadaan dan mengharapkan aku dapat menyumbang dengan apa cara sekalipun. 

tapi gagal.

teruskan je la. tengok macam mana.

Dan aku tak boleh lupa juga hidup ni bukan untuk aku sahaja.

Nota Satu

I feel bad that almost everyday feels like drafting out an escape plan.

Bertambah dgn exhaustion, and trying to pick myself up. Sometimes it takes a whole day. And when the next day arrives and I felt a bit better, workloads of course, are piling up. Overwhelm, again.