Will You Hate Me

Smile in the two- way mirror of my eyes
I put on my faith like I wear a disguise
You can't see my soul
See the life that I live
Show you the mask of the best I can give
I've hid here afraid like a child behind.
Truth of my thoughts that clutter my mind.
What if you knew about all that I do?
Things that I think,
The me that is true.

Would you call me a hypocrite?
Call me a liar?
Would you curse out my name?
Would you damn me to fire?
Would you know what to say?
Or would you just walk away?
Afraid the me I've tried to hide
Would you closely resemble the truth of you that lies inside?

I've been looking for answers since becoming an adult
Not looking for dogma to live like a cult
I've been looking to live,
I've been living to find
Freedom from cages that limit my mind.

Would you call me a hypocrite?
Call me a liar?
Would you curse out my name?
Would you damn me to fire?
Would you know what to say?
Or would you just walk away?
Afraid the me I've tried to hide
Would you closely resemble the truth of you that lies inside?

Will I scare you, upset you, frustrate you, irate you?
Challenge a lifestyle or weaken your trust
Or will you see my efforts and my passionate sincerity
Would you see just a little of yourself in me
Will you take off your mask so we can both be free.

Would you call me a hypocrite?
Call me a liar?
Would you curse out my name?
Would you damn me to fire?
Would you know what to say?
Or would you just walk away?
Afraid the me I've tried to hide
Would you closely resemble the truth of you that lies inside?

it is still, a struggle...

Once Were..

I listen to the Wind 
To the wind of my soul
Where I end up where I think
Only God really Knows

I've sat upon the setting sun
But never never never
I never wanted water once
No never never never

I listen to my words 
But they fall far below
I let my music take me 
Where my heart wants to go

I've swam upon the devil's lake
But never never never
I'll never make the same mistake
No never never never

Yusuf Islam's The Wind..

Perempuan Lagi

Salam Ramadhan. :) alhamdulillah..

2,3 hari asyik terfikir pasal mahalnya perempuan. Tak tahu lah kenapa. Mungkin suasana disekeliling dan keadaan dunia yg membuatkan diri ini terfikir. And at the same time teringat 1st sem kat UIAM Kuantan.

Lecturer Islamic Worldview yg humble, byk ilmu dan disegani, Dr Ibrahim Shogar pernah bercerita pasal perempuan ni nilainya macam ni. Oh ya, sebelum tu, Dr Ibrahim ni asal Sudan kalau tak silap, dah duduk lama dah Malaysia. Boleh faham Bahasa Melayu. Seorang hafiz. And beliau pakai kereta Proton Wira!! Colour maroon. (dah dah. Detail sgt ni)

Ok, bayangkan ya beliau terangkan siap gaya sume, and in English of course.

Perempuan ni macam barang kemas, berlian etc yg kita letak dalam tangan and tutup dgn kedua2 tangan. Tutup taknak bagi orang tengok. Kalau nak tengok pun, orang mungkin akan tgk sikit2. dapat tgk pun sikit2 je. Sikit sgt. Pastu dah. Tak tgk dah, sbb tertutup kemas dan tak boleh bukak.

Lebih kurang mcm tu..

Ada kata2 yg mengatakan muslimah solehah itu tidak memandang dan tidak dipandang.

Em jap, tak memandang? Ada masalah penglihatan ke?

Oh tidak. Muslimah solehah itu menjaga pandangannya..

Em, satu lagi. Tak dipandang? Pakai invisibility cloak kah?

Oh tidak. Disebabkan keadaan zaman sekarang yg suka melihat manusia berpakaian terdedah, (akibat nafsu dll) maka muslimah solehah yg tertutup auratnya itu sudah tidak dipandang kerana 'kepelikan' cara berpakaiannya.

Menjadi muslimah solehah yg sejati itu haruslah solehah luar dan dalam. *masih mencuba!*. what you portray on the outside must somehow complement with what's inside. For example, kalau org tanya, "why do you cover up your aurah?". (I admire the level of curiosity that non-muslims have). Are we going to simply answer by saying, "Well, my religion orders me to do so and my friends and family are all wearing it, so I guess I just have to do it too."

Yes, my religion orders me to do so. True, but to me some people don't easily buy that. They'll be confuse by thinking that, "Yes, I understand that your religion orders you to do so. But why do you choose to do it? Does it give you any benefit?". They will also say that you just merely follow without reason.

Well, we can try to answer by saying that, "my religion orders me to do so in order to protect me. And by covering up my aurah, it acts as a symbol for me to take care of myself, abstain myself from doing things that are not in line with what Allah permits. Sort of as a barrier." Wallahu'alam. Jawapan ini mgkn bkn jawapan yg terbaik.

Kadang2 kita tak tahu kenapa kita buat sesuatu perkara tu. Kita buat sebab kita kata, "Well, ikut ajelah current tu. Org msuk U, kita pun masuk la." Ini berbalik pula pada isu matlamat yg sy pernah sebut dalam satu post dulu. Know your purpose of being here on earth, then you will know that you have something to do (lots to do!) on earth.

So, boleh mula dari sekarang. Jom, sama2 baiki diri. Bak kata short film, "Aku Juga Syg Rasul", kita memang tak sempurna, tp kita boleh mencontohi yg sempurna : Rasulullah SAW. ^_^


[A solehah muslimah is like a hidden pearl. Dah lah pearl, hidden pulak tu.. & jom dgr The Veil by Dawud Wharnsby Ali. :)]

Decide!

Everyone wants a good life. And some badly wants to return to the right path, near to her Creator. Well done sister! :) But...

somehow this might once came across your mind : HESITATION. This arrives involving whether wanting to left off all of your normal doings and start to indulge in good-but-I-am-not-used-to-them doings. 

Source of hesitation :  shaytan..

He'll delay you each and every time your heart tells you that that one thing is certainly right.

It's his job by the way, we have to first be clear on that..

CHANGE

Something made me realize that you can't judge anyone for what the've done in their past, because people change. It is not in your power or in any of your abilities to know whether someone had changed or not.
CHANGE is something that is in the heart. It's not something that you can see on someone's face or in their behaviour.

You just don't know...would not know.. and will not know..

0052, saturday, 11/4