I don't know whether to regard this as an emotional, (intellectual??) post or what.
But these 2 days gave me a feeling of "I do not have much time left."
Probably because of assignments about to due, classes and lectures are about to end. I don't know which one..
But there's this one thing that I would like to share.. And this phrase has been lingering around my mind for quite some time.
"The most hated is one of the most remembered"
For now, you might have some interpretations on that, but let me start..
When I first entered this main campus, during early period of classes, I heard my friends talking about this one lecturer (my friends are from a different course). He's very strict especially with time, unpredictable and even this one time when they had a quiz, and when time is up, he crossed one of the sisters' paper because she didn't stop writing when he announced the time is up. Most of them nagged about it. some were stressed, some said it was ridiculous.
But I found this to be very fascinating.
I felt like I wanted to have a subject with this lecturer, but somehow at that time it seemed impossible because most of the classes that he taught was from the different course than mine.
Maybe I should explain why I found this lecturer to be interesting. Most probably, because throughout my life, I always prefer things that is unique. In terms of music preference (back then), I prefer something that is not on the mainstream area, therefore I prefer independent music and other things that is not familiar by others. So, I don't mind being the only person on earth to like that kind of music. To some people, they refer this as "rare". So, when something unique or something "uncommon" strikes me, it always took my attention. And about lecturers, most students love lecturers who can comply to their personal preference such as lecturers who don't mind them being late and etc. Some may say, "they're big enough. they know what is right and wrong." But to me, it is okay to tell because some students still need some "electric pulses" to shock them in order to 'wake them up'. Whatever it is, hikmah is always the key when it comes to correcting others. So, this lecturer, is unique to me, so far, I've never met anyone like him.
Alhamdulillah, in relation to the above, Allah gave me the chance to see my own religion in a new light, (paradigm shift I would say) through the uniqueness that I found in islam. I found islam to be strange, but in a beautiful way. (And this should be in a different blog post)
So, coming back to the lecturer.
This semester began with mixed feelings. Curious + Nervous + Enthusiastic . Because that lecturer will be teaching us this semester.
Alhamdulillah. I have the chance to have a subject to learn under him. Fyi, up to this point, I still couldn't believe this is happening.
As several weeks go by, we had our moments of being 'insulted' by him, moments of wake-up calls and other eerie moments that I'll never forget. But all these are memorable to me because it shook everything out of me. About how I'm attaining knowledge. I learn about my role as a student or as a mutarabbi (did I asked enough, did I really participate in class), did I really go back to my room and add myself with more knowledge by having additional readings. Was I diligent enough to make myself very well-equipped with all the skills and knowledge? People can say you can learn this more when you'll get out of university. I say, "really?, do you have the time to do so?". Probably, this is why I felt that my time is running out. (Plus, when I was talking to a friend about this, I remembered about death. Somehow, I guess, it's the same thing.)
Anyway, on top of all of these and many other reasons, am I sincere enough when it comes to learning all of the subjects. Where did I place my sincerity?
This lecturer gave his best by reminding us every week, yet we did the same mistakes over and over again. He gave his best when explaining the information on the slides, but yet, we took it as something that we can always learn and ask Sheikh Google.
I never found someone so concerned over his responsibility to teach, his responsibility to Allah, even though sometimes his concern might bring to a point where he would gave us words that might sound harsh to some. But to me, they were not harsh, they were just some ladle and hammers to wake me up. I believe he did all those just because he wanted the best for us. I believe in his vast life experience, and he knows better than me.
One of our discussions in class with him had made me determined to do something in the future, insyaAllah involving my family. I am determined to do this one particular thing, I hope I won't forget it when the time comes. InsyaAllah. Let's pray to Allah.
Maybe this blog post sounds like I'm praising him way too much, but sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, I will remember this semester throughout my life. I will always appreciate a class where everything I learn in it brought me closer to my Creator. Every second is a tazkirah, even when we were talking about antibodies and vaccines. But please don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't like other classes because they don't remind me about Allah. Surprisingly, they do, but on one condition : if I'm willing to think deep enough of what the lecturer is talking about. :)
I wish to write more, but time does not permits me to do so. Plus, I am not good in expressing everything that is in my heart in the form of words. As I once said to a friend, I prefer not to express my feelings because when I put them in words, it totally gave a different meaning. -__-'
I pray that Allah gives my lecturer full blessings and barakah, not just to him but to his family and his knowledge. I pray that Allah forgive his past, present and future sins.
Dalam Islam, kami tidak mengagumi seseorang yang berilmu kerana ilmunya. Kami tidak mengagumi orang kaya kerana kekayaannya. Dan kami tidak pula mengagumi orang yang hebat kerana kehebatannya semata.
Tapi kami hanya kagum apabila semua itu didahulukan dengan ketaqwaan kepadaNya.
angelpakaigucci
